


We saved each other

by haiiro51



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Awkward turtles, Bullying, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build, alternative universe, side markson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiiro51/pseuds/haiiro51
Summary: Jinyoung has always had a strong affection towards books and reading, however, that affection has brought nothing but misery to his life. All of that changes one quiet evening in the college library.~The following years of middle school were spent with Jinyoung returning home late, always covered in bruises and he would always use the same excuse to calm his worried mother I was playing with friends.~And it took all the power Jinyoung had to hide the radiant smile and spark in his eyes that hadn’t appeared in so long





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to apologize in advance, I'm still not sure how I want the whole story to develop, so I apologize because I might be editing the tags or character list. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)  
> I also hope you'll take a look at my other fics, would mean a lot! ♡
> 
> ☆☆  
> P.S. if you want look me up on ig @haiiro51 if you have anything you'd like to talk about

It’s very unusual for six year olds to love reading, most of them would rather spend all their time outside, running around and playing in the mud, well at least that’s what Jinyoung was told every day. His friends made it more than clear that he was _different_ and they made it their job to never stop teasing him about it. Jinyoung as the small smart boy he was, always thought it was fun to learn new things, and he did so with reading. He found it fun and quite enjoyable; he thought that nothing could beat the imaginary world he creates for himself whenever he gets really engrossed in a book. He would imagine himself swimming to the ends of the oceans, flying towards the clouds or running around the forests, he would imagine himself talking with the characters, listening to what they had to say, and that, for Jinyoung brought great happiness.  
His friends; well at least Jinyoung thought they were friends; never really supported his passion towards reading. They would always take his books, throw them around making him run in hopes of catching them, they would always make fun of him calling him a book worm, and they would always call him weird for never wanting to play because he would rather read, they were only six after all, why would he want to read things he couldn’t even understand? Well, they thought he couldn’t understand them, however, Jinyoung understood every book perfectly, because it felt as if he was living the story the book told, because he could imagine himself in the book.  
~  
By the time he joined middle school, he decided to hide his love towards books. He’s realized it isn’t the best idea to start a conversation with people by asking what book they liked the most, they would always look at him confused. Not many people of his age enjoyed reading, and the ones that did got bullied for it, that’s how kids were. And since Jinyoung didn’t want to get bullied, he decided it’s best to just not bring the subject up, but, if someone happened to ask, the little boys face would light up in the most radiant of smiles and his eyes would get a strange spark, however, there weren’t many people who asked.  
One day after school, Jinyoung stopped by a book store that was close to his house. He heard a new book from his favorite writer was out so he wanted to check it out; he’s been saving money from his allowance just for this purpose. After he had purchased the book, he left the shop with an honest to God excited smile, but it quickly disappeared when he was met by his schoolmates outside. They saw the book immediately, not like they could miss it he did just walk out from a book store. Jinyoung knew what this meant of course, his secret was out, he would get bullied, and he was right. The tallest boy, Ethan, snatched the bag containing the book from his hand and threw it on the floor, then proceeded to step on it while laughing at Jinyoung and calling him a _good-for-nothing nerd_.  
By the time Jinyoung had arrived home, it was already dark outside and both he and his uniform were stained in dirt, when his mother asked him what had happened he just smiled it off and said he had played with his friends. His mother, surprised and pleased never suspected it was a lie, she knew he never quite enjoyed playing in the dirt but she thought he had changed or just wanted to fit in. So she just gave him instructions to go upstairs and wash up. When Jinyoung was far enough from his mother’s point of view, he started crying, the boys from his class will never let this go, and they even ruined the book he was so excited to read.  
The following years of middle school were spent with Jinyoung returning home late, always covered in bruises and he would always use the same excuse to calm his worried mother **I was playing with friends**.  
~  
By the time Jinyoung enrolled in high school, he’d gotten pretty much used to the stares he got for reading, so he expected his high school life to be pretty much the same as it was in middle school. However, it was a nice surprise to walk into a classroom where everyone seemed friendly and accepting. He saw many people reading, well they weren’t reading the books Jinyoung liked, but still someone shared his passion even though it wasn’t that strong.  
He actually managed to make some friends, real friends this time, friends that supported him and defended him from simple minded people that still judged him. Friends that he could talk to about the books he read, friends that would actually listen this time.  
Jinyoung honestly thought his worries were gone, that he could finally be happy. He had friends and he had a crush that just recently turned into a relationship. It was a sweet small girl with a beautiful smile and even more beautiful blue eyes, her name was Emily. They were happy together, Jinyoung gave her all the attention he could, he did everything she asked of him, and he never failed to make her smile. Jinyoung thought he was doing everything right, he never blew her off, he never ignored her, and he never acted differently when people were around.  
However, it was proven for many years that the universe just loves to toy with Jinyoung when he least expects it, or when he’s at the prime of his happiness, this time was no different. Emily just happened to have something up that day, and she just happened to tell Jinyoung to go home without her, and Jinyoung just happened to see her kissing with some other guy in front of a convenience store. Jinyoung never took that route home, it was longer than his usual one and it didn’t have much scenery to begin with; just many plain buildings and shops, he preferred the one that went through the park, or the one where he had to pass next to the book store, so he doesn’t know why he chose this route today, he just thought it would be a nice change of pace; but when he saw his girlfriend in the arms of another boy he cursed himself for ever thinking change was something good. 

Jinyoung returned home with a pink cheek that evening since he received an angered slap from Emily when he called out to her, what’s worse she pretended she didn’t even know him, which Jinyoung thinks is probably so the other boy wouldn’t leave her, and because Emily looked so panicked and scared Jinyoung got a punch in the nose from her new boyfriend, so not only did he have a hand imprinted on his right cheek but he also had a nosebleed. Jinyoung just thanks the universe that his mother wasn’t home when he returned, he didn’t quite think of an explanation as to why he looked the way he did.  
Emily approached him the day after the whole ordeal happened; Jinyoung was sitting with his friends in the school garden telling them about the whole incident from last night. When they saw her approaching his best friend Mark said _speaking of the wolf_ they all glared at her and the only thing Jinyoung was grateful for was that he at least still had his friends. He got up from his seat on Emily’s request, she looked sorry so he wanted to listen to an explanation, it might help him feel better too he thought, but he was oh so very much mistaken. The first thing Emily did was slap him again and then she just said  
“It’s obvious we’re no longer together, so please don’t make confusion with my boyfriend, it was very hard to explain that I have nothing to do with you. You’re just a _book worm_ that never made enough time for me because of your precious books. You’re a sorry excuse for a boyfriend and you never made me happy.” after that she just turned around and walked away. Jinyoung was left dumb-founded. His love for books brought him yet another painful memory, but he still wouldn’t stop, his passion was just too great.  
When he returned to his seat his friends made fun of him, not in a mean way but in a playful one, so he just thought to himself _ah, they’re trying to make me feel better…_ so, Jinyoung did what his friends were trying to make him do, he laughed; even though that was the last thing he wanted to do.  
~  
When Jinyoung started attending college, he was sad to leave high school. Yes, it had many sad memories, but it was also his happiest period. He didn’t see how college could ever beat the time he had in high school. All his friends decided on different universities, but they did decide to stay in touch, and they did always manage to pull Jinyoung outside even when he didn’t feel like it; he always ended up having a good time, so he thought their friendship was going to be alright.  
His day started with waking up to a group-chat with his two closest friends, Mark and Jackson, who wished him a good day and good luck. He just smiled at the messages and sent them a short reply as he always did; they never got upset to this since they knew him better than anyone.  
His freshman year flew by in the blink of an eye. He didn’t have much free time on his hands, getting used to all the studying required to maintain good grades was difficult at first, but Jinyoung managed somehow. He had good enough grades to maintain his scholarship and he was pleased as to how he fit in with the other students, he even managed to make some friends; well he prefers to call them acquaintances, his true friends were Mark and Jackson, and he is happy to admit that there really was no reason to worry about them. They’re still friends by the end of freshman year, and they’re as close as they were when they were still in high school, they often see each other and they make sure to talk every day.  
Jinyoung’s passion towards books still hasn’t faded away; rather it got even stronger when he entered university. His department was literature which meant that everyone shared the passion he did, in the same amount he did. However, he still didn’t feel too comfortable sharing his love with people off campus, and sometimes he had a hard time discussing books on campus, but he was slowly getting there. All the negative encounters he had because of the love he grows left some scars here and there but he is more than happy that he didn’t abandon it.  
~  
It wasn’t until Jinyoung was at the middle of his sophomore year that he noticed the flyer on the college library door; it plainly said _help needed_. For Jinyoung, this meant he could be around books even more than he already was, so when he did in fact notice the note, he was more than happy to apply, of course he was ecstatic when he got accepted. The job; if you could call it that, was very enjoyable for Jinyoung, he didn’t care that he wasn’t getting payed since he was just a volunteer, he couldn’t imagine a way to spend the time better than surrounded by books. After all, working in a library meant that he had so many books to choose from, all of them were his, all of them were meant to be read by him, and he couldn’t wait to give his attention to all of them.  
His work hours were right after his classes, it was late in the evening so there were never many people around. Jinyoung was never fond of crowded places anyway.  
One evening; that didn’t seem different from any other, Jinyoung was engrossed in a book by Haruki Murakami when a big crowd of people suddenly gathered. It was unusual for so many people to come at all to the library during his shift, not to mention at the same time, but Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel a little happy even though he hated crowds, so many people came, so many people wanted to read.  
He quickly learned that was not the case. They all followed a rather attractive boy there, Jinyoung quickly recognized him as Jaebum, the boy from the music department. The reason why Jinyoung knew who he the boy was is because he was kind of famous around the campus. Everyone knew about him, even the people that didn’t really socialize with anyone; much like Jinyoung. The reason why the boy was famous was because he was very handsome, he had a wonderful smile and a beautiful voice, well that’s what Jinyoung had heard, it’s not like he thought it was true.  
When Jaebum approached Jinyoung, he asked him if he knew where he could find Norwegian Wood, which so happened to be the book Jinyoung had been reading before they interrupted him, and it also happened to be his favorite book. Jinyoung just smiled, sincerely pleased he’s met someone that shares his interest, and he showed him the book, placed it in front of him and said “Here you go”.  
Jaebum looked a bit confused “Em, weren’t you reading that?” he asked, Jinyoung just nodded and added “It’s okay, I’ve read it like ten times, so… you can have it” he smiled then turned to pick another book from the pile he had set to read when he was finished with the book he just gave Jaebum. 

Then he realized it might sound weird to people that he’s read one book so many times, he quickly turned to face the boy to try to find an explanation, he didn’t want to seem weird; he didn’t really understand why he cared what a boy he’d never met before would think about him, was it because he was popular? But, when he met the other boys eyes, he saw that he had a smile on his face, “I’ve read it many times too, still, thanks a bunch”, the boy said before turning around and moving towards a table with a crowd following him. 

_And it took all the power Jinyoung had to hide the radiant smile and spark in his eyes that hadn’t appeared in so long_


	2. Chapter 2

Jaebum could sing for as long as he could remember. His parents thought that was an amazing gift, and they would often make him sing popular songs whenever they had someone over. Everyone was amazed by his singing abilities, except for people of his own age, apparently, little boys didn’t think singing was anything special, they’d much rather he knew how to play some sport; Jaebum was never really good at any outdoor activities, he always placed last in every sport he ever played; or rather tried to play. 

He never boasted about the fact he could sing, he never really thought he was particularly good at it; he just thought it was decent. He only sang when he was asked to in front of others, but he enjoyed humming to himself whenever he was alone. 

~

No one really knew about Jaebum’s ability to sing since he never quite spoke about it. But, one day during his high school life, he was asked to go to karaoke with his friends and a few girls they had invited. Jaebum was never one to turn down an offer to go out, so he quickly agreed not thinking he’d have to sing too. 

When all his friends had already sung a few tunes, they were very persistent he sings one too; they said it would look good with the girls and since Jaebum had taken a liking to one of them, he complied. Everyone was shocked at how good Jaebum’s voice was, well, at least the girls were; they kept making him sing more songs all the while telling him how amazing he was. Finally, after singing seven songs in a row, Jaebum’s throat got dry and he used it as an excuse to leave for the bathroom, truth be told he felt a bit uncomfortable being on the spot like that; he still didn’t know why he didn’t like singing in front of other people. 

When he returned he overheard his friends talking about him, the words were everything but kind.  
_He’s just a show off; where’d that come from; he never told us he could sing; I feel lied to; why did he keep it a secret; he’s such a jerk; he just wanted the girls for himself; some friend he is_ and so on. Those were his _best friends_. Jaebum just turned around and made his way out of the karaoke place while thinking **some friends they are** . 

And in that moment, Jaebum realized why he never enjoyed singing in front of people. They would always take it the wrong way. They wouldn’t enjoy his voice, they wouldn’t think it was nice, it wouldn’t make them happy, and all they would do is badmouth him and later on stop talking to him altogether. 

Jaebum thought he could live without this _”gift”_ if it would bring him nothing but sadness. All he wanted to do with his voice was put a smile on people’s faces, but the only people that worked on were his parents, and he thinks at this point that it was part of their parenting job. 

The day after that, his so called friends approached him and asked him why he had left, Jaebum didn’t want to make a scene in school so he pretended everything was fine, he just lied and said he had a stomachache and had to rush home. The matter wasn’t brought up again after that and Jaebum pretended like he never overheard anything in the first place. It’s just two more short years before I leave that place anyway, he mumbled to himself one night before bed. 

~

And the two years really were short. Before he knew it he was in college and could leave his high school life behind him. He swore to never speak to any of the boys again after they had graduated, well not like they’d want to speak to him anyway. The graduation ceremony was anything but pleasant; let’s just say Jaebum said what was on his mind before punching all of them goodbye. 

After the karaoke incident had occurred, Jaebum had sat down and thought about his singing. He thought about his songs, and he thought about all the happiness he could bring with his ability. Just because it didn’t work so far, doesn’t mean it won’t work in the future he thought that evening. And, he came to the conclusion that he wants to pursue music, not be a singer but perhaps a composer. That way people who were confident in their singing skills could sing his songs and bring a small light of hope to someone. 

That’s the reason why Jaebum ended up in a music college. But right off the bat in his freshman year, they were all supposed to sing in front of everyone. He didn’t understand why he was so nervous, everyone there could sing his singing probably wasn’t anything extraordinary, no it surely wasn’t, but his palms sweated nonetheless. When he finished his song he rushed back to his seat and kept his head down the rest of the lecture completely shut off; too afraid to hear negative comments from the other students.  
He couldn’t quite grasp why the karaoke incident left such a big scar, but it did, probably because they were supposed to be his best friends, shouldn’t they have been the happiest and proudest of him? But, instead they hurt him more than anyone before that did. Not paying any attention to his singing; like people from his middle school and before that did; and insulting him for it were two completely different matters, and he preferred the first one over the second. 

After the first lesson had finished, Jaebum tried rushing out of the classroom as quickly as he did back to his seat, but he was stopped by a group of people, _here we go_ he thought to himself thinking they would tell him all the negative comments they had to his face now that he couldn’t escape them. He just shut his eyes and put his head down, waiting for the harsh words, but they didn’t come. His head sprung upwards when a boy placed his hand around his shoulder, Jaebum obviously couldn’t hide the confusion on his face since the small group of people started laughing.  
“Your singing was amazing! I’m Youngjae!” the boy said with a very wide smile. And Jaebum just had to smile back with a low “Thank you...” escaping his lips. The small group of people proceeded to the cafeteria, all the while making Jaebum tag along despite his best efforts to leave. 

When he arrived back to his apartment, he felt warmth in his stomach. He was happy, he finally had some friends, well they might be his friends he wasn’t yet sure. But, nonetheless his first day was much better than he had hoped it would be. 

~

When his sophomore year started, Jaebum was more than sure Youngjae was his best friend. They spent every day together, and they’ve been friends since day one of college. Jaebum honestly thought Youngjae would get tired of him, but that wasn’t the case, the little ray of sunshine was always there when Jaebum needed him the most. He told Youngjae about what happened during high school, why he didn’t like singing in front of people, and Youngjae promised that he would always sing Jaebum’s songs if Jaebum didn’t want to do so himself. 

Jaebum was just explaining the new song he was writing to Youngaje, when he noticed a dark haired boy in the library. He made a sudden stop at the library door and looked at the boy; he quickly noticed what book he was reading - “Norwegian Wood”. Youngjae just looked at Jaebum with a puzzled expression before Jaebum spoke _”Don’t you think he’s beautiful?"_. To this, Youngjae just let out a small laugh and pushed Jaebum into the library while saying “Let’s go talk to him then” with a chuckle. Of course, Youngjae as Jaebum’s best friend knew that he was fine with boys too, and even though it took some getting used to he was totally accepting of it. 

He was very nervous; he didn’t know how to approach the boy behind the counter. But then a thought occurred to him, mention the book you saw him reading. But, he never read the book, so he couldn’t exactly talk about how good it was, so he just settled with asking where he could find it. 

When the boy placed the book he had been reading in front of Jaebum with the words “Here you go”, Jaebum froze. That isn’t what Jaebum wanted, now the other boy will think of him as a bother, he took his book, he interrupted, and everything was going wrong. “Em, weren’t you reading that?” he asked in hopes he could salvage the situation. 

“It’s okay, I’ve read it like ten times, so… you can have it” the other boy said with a smile, and Jaebum was immediately captivated by it. He thinks he’s never seen someone smile so beautifully and honestly before this. When the boy turns back from his book search looking worried, Jaebum immediately realizes why that is, he’s probably concerned about the fact that he just told a complete stranger that he’s read one book ten times, but Jaebum thought that was adorable, so he lied, “I’ve read it many times too, still, thanks a bunch”, and he knows he’s said the right thing the second he sees the boys lips fall back into a smile. 

Jaebum then turned to sit at a nearby table, not failing to read the boy’s nametag before doing so, it read “Jinyoung”. 

_And Jaebum tried; but failed to keep the smile from appearing as he repeated Jinyoung in low whispers_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you might be upset that the story development hasn't really started yet, but it is a slow build fanfiction so I really wanted to focus on the story of both Jaebum and Junior, please be patient with me, thank you! 
> 
> The next chapter will be posted on Friday and the story starts off there! (: 
> 
>  
> 
> _And again, thank you for reading, a feedback is always welcome! ^^_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, Jaebum is an awkward child but Jinyoung still secretly finds it cute ;3

It’s been a week since Jaebum started visiting the library daily, he just happened to need to do his homework, an essay or need a book at the time it was Jinyoung’s shift; truth be told he only wanted to see Jinyoung, but he needed an excuse every time. 

Jaebum’s been trying to get Jinyoung’s attention for days, and he’s been failing for days at that simple task. He never had trouble starting a conversation with someone, he had many friends; but whenever he so much as got close to Jinyoung a lump in his throat would appear and he just couldn’t make it go away. His voice would get shaky and his hands would tremble, so actually, him _"trying"_ to get Jinyoung’s attention looked more like this: Jaebum walks up to the counter and stares at Jinyoung hoping he would move the attention he’s given the book to Jaebum, when Jinyoung does so Jaebum would blush, his hands would sweat and start shaking and he wouldn’t be able to say anything so it always ended with Jaebum pointing at a random book like a creep before barely muttering out, “T-that one…p-please”, Jinyoung would always give him a kind smile before placing the book in front of him and then he’d return his attention to the book he’d been reading before Jaebum rudely interrupted. Jaebum would then proceed back to a table with a series of swear words mumbled to himself.

Jinyoung never really seemed bothered that Jaebum acted so weirdly or because of the fact that he interrupted his reading, or that he sometimes asked for the books Jinyoung had been reading in hopes that would start a conversation. Jinyoung was always kind, and he always had a small smile that Jaebum just couldn’t take his eyes off of. Jinyoung always looked so happy while reading, and that made Jaebum enjoy books a lot more than he had before. He actually ended up reading Norwegian Wood just to have a subject to talk about with the beautiful dark haired boy, but, he could never gather enough courage to bring it up. 

After a week, Jaebum decided it’s time to stop going to the library for a while, he actually had some assignments to do and he knew they’d never get done in the library; not if Jinyoung was there anyway, he just couldn’t focus when he was around him, his eyes always ended up looking for the other boy. 

~ 

“Not going to the library today?” asked a high-pitched voice behind Jaebum, he quickly recognized it as Youngjae’s.  
Jaebum just shook his head before adding a “No, not today”, Youngjae looked puzzled and gave out a small sigh before adding “You’ve been down the whole day, you know you haven’t been to see him for three days, it’s starting to show!”. Jaebum just looked at his friend and never gave him a response, he was right, Jaebum was down and he missed the other boy’s smile already. 

So, when his classes were done that day Jaebum decided he could spare a few minutes that he knew would turn into hours to go visit the other boy. He was sure that Jinyoung didn’t even notice his absence, but he didn’t care, he just really wanted to see him; he felt like he wouldn’t be able to concentrate even if he did go home to study that evening. 

When he opened the library door, he noticed how Jinyoung’s gaze flew upwards the second the door made a small screeching sound. That’s new, Jinyoung usually wouldn’t take his eyes off of his books, no matter how loud someone was, no matter how many people walked in, Jaebum couldn’t stop the flush from coloring his cheeks. He passed next to Jinyoung slowly as he said a low “Sorry for the noise”, he wanted to pass by him, observe him from a distance as he did every day, but he was stopped as Jinyoung said a quiet “Umm..”. Jaebum made an abrupt stop that didn’t seem natural at all, he turned around to face JInyoung; however, when he saw the boys cheeks were also pink he walked up to him with a new found confidence; he doesn’t quite know where it came from but he’s glad it did. 

Jaebum just looked at Jinyoung but then the dark haired boy spoke. “Did you… em, did you read Norwegian Wood”, and Jaebum couldn’t hide the smile that creeped at his lips “Ah, yes I did. I loved it!” the next twenty minutes were spent with the two of them discussing the book, and as Jaebum watched JInyoung’s face light up in a smile he’s never seen before, and when he saw the spark he’s never noticed before in the other boys eyes, he thanked God that he decided to actually read the book.  
But then Jinyoung said something that shook every part of Jaebum’s body in a way words have never managed to do before; “You didn’t come here for a few days, so I got worried..” as he said that, Jinyoung’s face was covered in an awkward and nervous smile, but Jaebum’s was covered in a smile much similar to the one Jinyoung gave when he was speaking about the book, a honest to God happy smile, one Jaebum thought he’d never have a reason to make.  
That meant that Jinyoung noticed Jaebum, and that Jaebum was never a bother, and that the boy perhaps also enjoyed the awkward little moments they had every day for the past week. This gave Jaebum hope. Of course, he was sure that the boy didn’t get butterflies in his stomach, or feel like someone stabbed him in the heart every time the other smiled or spoke, but he was happy he could talk to him now, he was thrilled. 

-However, what Jaebum didn’t know was that Jinyoung was just as happy that they finally managed to have a proper conversation, and he also didn’t know that Jinyoung was also just as nervous about starting that conversation and that’s precisely why they had so many awkward encounters. Jaebum was also unaware of the fact that Jinyoung had been mentally preparing himself for the past three days, he knew he **had** to start a conversation with him if he ever decided to come to the library again. The only thing Jinyoung was unaware of, were the butterflies and warmth he felt in his stomach when Jaebum gave him a small, awkward laugh and a simple _see you tomorrow_ before leaving the library that day. 

They proceeded to talk to each other every day after that, of course Jaebum mostly started all of their conversations but he didn't mind, he just assumed Jinyoung was shy or felt like he was a bother. Truth be told, Jaebum thought the same thing but he'd be damned if that stopped him. 

~ 

Jaebum ran into a corner, he wasn’t really sure what to do next. So, he decided to ask Youngaje for advice. Neither of them dated before so they were both rather oblivious to the whole thing but Jaebum thought that together they might find something that will work. He just hoped that Jinyoung wouldn’t get bothered by all of it before actually starting to like him back. 

**#1Advice**  
_So, we just need him to like you right? Don’t you think it’s enough for you to just casually try to be touchy? He might become more aware of you that way._

Jaebum didn’t really find anything illogical in that; on the contrary it made perfect sense to him. His brain just went something like: Ah, yes, touch him, okay, that’ll work. Oh, how simple of both of them, of course it didn’t work out that way. The first miscalculation they had was that Jaebum would even be able to touch Jinyoung; it first took twenty-five minutes for him to even get the courage to put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, Jinyoung didn’t even seem to notice it that was their second miscalculation. Jaebum then proceeded to touch the other boy “subtly” but failing to make his cheeks flush or get his voice shaky; in other words Jinyoung was oblivious to the whole matter.  
_Result:_ Other than the fact that Jaebum finally got to touch Jinyoung, **complete failure**.

**#2Advice**  
_How about buying him a book you’ve seen him reading in the library, or one from the writer you know he likes? You’re sure only about one thing; that boy loves to read. Use that to your advantage._

So, Jaebum did as he was suggested. He bought a book from F. Scott Fitzgerald; he knew Jinyoung loved him, he saw him reading his books more times than Norwegian Wood. So that day when he went to the library, he carried the wrapped gift, nervous and excited at the same time. When he walked up to Jinyoung, he immediately handed him the book; he deemed it was best to get it over with quickly then wait for him to change his mind and chicken out. Jinyoung looked confused as he was opening the present, and then he looked even more confused when he saw what it was. “Ehh, for me?” he screamed out, Jaebum just nodded and said “Because you’ve been very patient with me for days”, that sounded dumb he thought, it was kind of his job to be kind but he didn’t really have another excuse so he just went with that one; now he was regretting that he hadn’t thought of a better one. As he was beating himself about the sorry-ass excuse he gave, his eyes wandered to Jinyoung who seemed ecstatic, and then Jaebum forgot all about his lame excuses and couldn’t help but feel pleased with himself; or rather Youngjae since it was his plan all along; he made a self-note to make sure he thanks him properly.  
Before Jaebum left that day, Jinyoung showered him with thank you’s and I love it, all with his honest to God radiant smile, and Jaebum immediately knew everything was worth it if he could see that beautiful smile; and the fact that it was there because of him made it all the more beautiful.  
_Result:_ Complete success.

**#3Advice**  
_How about showing you're kind? Wait for his shift to end one day and offer to walk him home? That's a bonus since you get to spend more time with him too._

Jaebum again did as he was told. He tried to go about it in the least stalker-like way. He sat there pretending to read a book for hours; most people would get bored or tired of waiting but not Jaebum. When he saw it was nearing the end of Jinyoung's shift he pretended like he just finished; oh what a coincidence. So, he got up and walked towards the boy who was finishing up with packing his bag. "You going home too?" he asked trying to sound calmer then he was, his brain was going something like "stay calm, stay calm, what the hell are you doing you sound super unnatural", the boy just nodded and said "You too?" when Jaebum nodded and started walking out because he was about to chicken out and leave it for another day he heard Jinyoung adding "Wait up, le'ts go together". He was extremely happy but also displeased, he was the one who was supposed to ask; can this even be calculated as a success? But, when he gave it some thought, he realized it was even better than him asking, Jinyoung _wanted_ to go home with him, what could be better than that? So he just stopped and waited for the boy, trying to seem neutral about the whole thing, not like he was about to explode from happiness.  
The whole way to the train station was spent with them speaking about random things and Jaebum making awkward jokes that Jinyoung still laughed to.  
_Result:_ Success. 

**#4Advice**  
_How about asking him some personal questions? But don’t go too personal or he might think you’re a creep._

And again, Jaebum completely agreed with his friend, this was also a very good plan, plus he had a chance to get to know him better. What could possibly go wrong; Jaebum thought before entering the library that day. The answer to his rhetorical question was: so many things. Again, they had some miscalculations. The first of them being that Jaebum could distinguish “too personal” from “this question is okay”, the second miscalculation was that they thought Jaebum was calm enough to take time to think about which questions were going over the top. So, the first question that escaped Jaebum’s mouth was “Do you ever read adult stuff?” . Jaebum, however knew he had fucked up the second he asked that question, but, he didn’t have the calm to stop, so to make matters worse he followed up with “I mean, I do, doesn’t everyone?” and then he added a small laugh, because, why not am I right? Jinyoung just stared at him in pure confusion and then replied “Oh, I guess I might be strange then, I prefer reading other books”, he tried not to sound too creeped out, but Jaebum could tell. So he just quickly lied about having to go somewhere and basically dashed out of the library.  
_Result:_ This can’t even be calculated as a failure. 

**#5Advice**  
_Ahh, you really lost it there… How about playing hard to get this time? Maybe if he thinks he can’t have you, he’ll want you._

And at this point, Jaebum thought he had nothing to lose anyway, he did just make a fool out of himself so he actually did want to put some distance between them. So that day when Jaebum came to the library, he didn’t pay Jinyoung any notice, he walked past him without a hello or smile that he usually gave, he just sat down at a table far away from Jinyoung this time and whenever he needed help he would ask another volunteer. By the time he had to leave before missing the last train Jaebum was exhausted; he used up all his strength on trying not to look at Jinyoung. As he was leaving Jinyoung said bye which Jeabum ignored; he felt horrible for doing so.  
A few days after that he avoided the library all together knowing he would fail at ignoring the boy for a day longer; Youngjae told him he had to follow this tip for a few days not only one so he refused to give him another. But when he did end up going he tried walking past Jinyoung again but was forced to stop with Jinyoung grabbing his hand. When Jaebum turned to look at the boy, his heart shattered, he looked so pained and hurt. “Why have you been ignoring and avoiding me?” he asked with a shaky voice. Jaebum couldn’t be happy about that, that wasn’t the shaky voice he wanted to hear; he never thought his foolishness would hurt the one person he wanted to like him back. “I... I wasn’t.” was all he could manage to reply. Jinyoung let his hand go and wanted to proceed with reading the book without saying anything, but his attention was pulled back to Jaebum when the other pulled him into a hug over the counter. “I’m sorry, I was stressed over my grades and didn’t feel like talking, so… please don’t make that sort of face”. Jinyoung returned the hug, not caring about the people giving them weird looks. “You should have told me, I could’ve helped you” and then he smiled reassuring Jaebum that he held no hard feelings, and a weight was lifted from Jaebum’s shoulders. 

And that evening the two boys were closer than they ever were both physically and mentally. And Jinyoung really did help Jaebum study even though the latter never had any worries about his grades to begin with.  
_Result:_ Complete success. 

When he saw Youngjae at college the day after, the boy offered him more advice, but Jaebum just shrugged and said he didn’t need any since he already had a _date_ with Jinyoung. Well, he saw it as a date; he doubted that the other boy thought about it as anything other than a friendly meeting. 

_Another miscalculation was made there by Jaebum, he was oblivious of yet another thing; Jinyoung was also looking forward to it, although he didn’t quite understand why._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again I thank you for reading! ^^


	4. Chapter 4

The day of the date arrived. They agreed about the time of the date a week prior; they were both busy so they deemed it was better that way. Jinyoung was excited to meet Jaebum that evening, even though he didn’t quite understand why; wasn’t it just a normal gathering with a friend? He went out with Mark and Jackson many times before this, but he never got this fuzzy feeling in his chest before leaving his apartment.  
Jinyoung also noticed how he spent a bit too long checking if his outfit was alright, took a bit too long to fix his hair, and he looked at himself in the mirror for a minute longer than usual. He was never one to pay too much notice to the way he looks but for some reason he wanted Jaebum to like how he looked that evening. Instead of dressing casually, he went with a sophisticated look, but not too sophisticated so he wouldn’t weird Jaebum out; it looked natural he thought. 

 

When he finally left his apartment he hurried to the train station where he and Jaebum had agreed to meet. Jaebum was already there when Jinyoung arrived; and the moment Jinyoung saw him he knew he made the right decision with what to wear since Jaebum was wearing something similar. *they didn’t go out in suits, but they didn’t go out in sweatpants either, something like a cardigan and jeans I suppose, just so you could imagine it a bit better :c*

When Jinyoung was right in front of Jaebum he greeted him with a smile and a “Hello” and got that in return as well; Jinyoung thought Jaebum’s eye-smile was the most breathtaking thing he had ever seen since the first time they spoke and he was always happy to see it but this time it woke up that fuzzy feeling in his chest that he had forgotten about. The two boys started making their way to a Starbucks; they didn’t really make any plans or arrangements where to go so they thought they’d pass the time there until they think about something better to do.  
During their way there, Jinyoung found it hard to find a topic to talk about; he didn’t really want to annoy Jaebum and talk about books all evening; he doesn’t even know if the other boy likes them that much; so the air was filled with awkward and uncomfortable silence; at least Jinyoung thought so but when he turned to look at Jaebum he had a small smile at his lips and Jinyoung immediately felt relieved. He didn’t have to worry about what they’d talk about he could just talk about anything, or so it seemed that way. So, Jinyoung proceeded to do so, he talked about the book he just finished reading, he talked about his day, about what he ate, he told him the funny story about the dog that chased him for two blocks just to get the meat he purchased, and then he listened to Jaebum talk about his day, about what he ate, about the new song he just heard, he listened to a few lame jokes Jaebum made again and he laughed at them, not to be nice but because he actually thought they were funny because Jaebum was the one who told them. Before he knew it, they arrived to their destination. 

~

When they entered the Starbucks they first looked for a place to sit when Jinyoung saw them; Mark and Jackson sitting in a corner booth. He pulled Jaebum over so they could go greet them; that was honestly all he wanted to do he didn’t want to make Jaebum sit with them because he thought he might be uncomfortable or awkward since they didn’t really know each other. However, that’s not how it played out. When they arrived in front of Mark and Jackson, jinyoung said “Well, well, who do we have here?” to that the two boys lifted their gaze and then smiles appeared on their faces, genuinely happy to see Jinyoung. “Well if it isn’t Jinyoung!” screamed the ever so cheerful Jackson and jumped from his seat to give his friend a light hug. “Hello, I’m Jackson and this is Mark, we went to the same high school with this pretty boy here” he said with a small chuckle. Mark just added a “Hello”; he was always the quiet type. Jaebum smiled and extended his hand “Hello, I’m Jaebum, I go to the same college as this pretty boy here”; Jaebum doesn’t really know why he said that, it sounded weird but he couldn’t help feeling just a bit jealous when Jackson said it. The two boys didn’t really mind it they just laughed at his comment which Jaebum found reassuring; he didn’t make himself out to be a complete fool the first time he saw them. However, when he looked at Jinyoung he quickly saw the flush on his cheeks therefore he couldn’t stop his cheeks from flushing too. Mark and Jackson just exchanged a glance before Mark said “Are you staying here? If so, why not sit here with us?” Jinyoung’s face quickly stiffened at his friends comment, “Um, we were… um” he looked at Jaebum expecting him to find an appropriate way out but the other boy just added “Sure, I’ll go order our drinks, what will you be drinking?” Jinyoung looked a bit confused as he said “Just plain black coffee, please” Jaebum nodded and left to get their drinks. Jinyoung sat in the empty seat in front of his two friends. 

“Soooooooooo, who’s that beauty?” said Jackson with a wide grin  
“Ah, he’s a friend from college, we met in the library”  
“A friend? You don’t need to lie to us! There’s obviously something going on between you, spill!”  
“What are you talking about?” Jinyoung’s voice and face were filled with pure confusion. _Something more_ what on earth was he referring to?  
Mark and Jackson looked at each other as they mumbled “He doesn’t know yet?”  
“I don’t know what guys?” his friends just shook their heads and added “Nothing, nothing, don’t worry about it!” 

Jinyoung wanted to ask more questions but Jaebum arrived with their drinks so he thought it might get awkward if he proceeds. He thanked the boy and insisted he lets him pay for his own drink; however that was a fight he lost. 

They spent their whole date with Mark and Jackson, Jinyoung doesn’t even remember what they talked about exactly; he just knows the evening was filled with laughter and no awkward silence, mainly thanks to Jackson. 

When Jaebum left to go to the bathroom before they go home, Mark and Jackson got serious.  
“We need to tell you something Jinyoung” Mark said in a low and serious voice, “We… we started going out… We didn’t really know how to tell you but you deserve to know”. Jinyoung has to admit, it did catch him a bit off guard but he did notice their feelings for one another even during high school, so he congratulated them and told them that he’s very happy for them; which in all honesty he was. 

~

After they had finally left the Starbucks, Jinyoung didn’t really feel like going home. Yes, he had fun, but he kind of expected the whole evening to look differently, he wanted more time alone with Jaebum. They spent time with other people around every day in the library so this was supposed to be different, or was it only Jinyoung that thought that way?  
Then he heard Jaebum say “Ahh, I’m in the mood for something sweet” after a short pause he added “Do you want to go get something from the convenience store and go to my place to eat it? I’ll walk you home after that if you want; plus it’s my treat!”  
Jinyoung’s face was quickly decorated with a wide smile as he nodded with a quick “Yes!” escaping his mouth, he thinks he probably should’ve looked a bit more neutral about the whole thing but that thought quickly disappears as Jaebum’s face gets decorated in the exact same smile.  
“But, before that wanna go take walk? There’s a really nice park near here” Jinyoung agreed to that idea too. 

 

The park really was nice. It had a small lake and a few swings on the other side of it. The lake had rocks over it so you could pass to the other side; there was a road too of course but Jaebum managed to make Jinyoung cross over the lake.  
Jinyoung went first so Jaebum could keep an eye on him, he tried to reassure him that there was no need that he’d be fine but Jaebum still insisted, after a few minutes Jinyoung had no choice but to comply. Thankfully he did since it wasn’t long before Jinyoung lost his footing on a rock; Jaebum quickly caught him preventing him to fall in. “See, I told you it’s really slippery!” Jinyoung could tell that the boy said this only so he wouldn’t feel awkward, he still did though. They continued to pass the lake and Jaebum kept his hands on Jinyoung’s hips just in case; well he told Jinyoung it was so he could catch him if he slipped again but that was a mere excuse. Jinyoung didn’t complain though, he did wonder what that strange warmth emitting from the places Jaebum touched was. When they passed the lake they proceeded to sit on a bench, and again Jinyoung slipped on a rock hidden under the mud, Jaebum tried catching him; however he failed. Jinyoung fell flat on his face and was now wholly covered in mud. “Oh my god, are you okay?” Jaebum couldn’t hide the panic in his voice, he knew Jinyoung didn’t hurt himself but he also knew he just ruined their whole date, why did he even suggest coming here? Jinyoung laughed which left Jaebum completely confused, he squatted next to Jinyoung to help him get up “I’m fine, ah don’t touch me you’ll get dirty too” Jaebum didn’t listen to him of course, so now they were both laughing completely covered in mud and Jinyoung doesn’t know why he feels so content by this.  
They sat on the bench not caring about what they looked like and just talked for an hour straight before they decided they should probably head over to Jaebum’s place after getting a few weird looks from people passing by. They decided to go back the same way they came, over the lake; Jinyoung insisted they do so and Jaebum had no time to protest since Jinyoung already grabbed his hand and started pulling him to the lake; no, Jaebum couldn’t protest since holding Jinyoung’s hand felt too good to complain so he just went with the flow.

The way to the store was silent, but it wasn’t that awkward uncomfortable silence like at the beginning; this one was somewhat pleasant. However, Jaebum broke it when he started humming to himself. Jinyoung just stared at him, waiting for the boy to start singing. “Why don’t you sing something?”  
“What should I sing?”  
“Whatever you want”  
For some reason Jaebum listened to his request. He didn’t feel weird or awkward, he felt as if it was something normal, something he should do, probably because the second he started singing Jinyoung’s face was lit by the radiant smile and he couldn’t help but feel just as happy as Jinyoung that he put it there. The rest of the way to the convenience store was spent like that, Jaebum singing and Jinyoung looking at him in complete amazement, all the while not letting go of his hand. 

_The two boys bough a bunch of puddings and chocolates, and Jinyoung sneaked a few ice-creams in the basket when Jaebum wasn’t looking which got him a playful glare at the cash register. And as they made their way to Jaebum’s place Jinyoung couldn’t stop the nervous feeling he felt in his stomach._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry you had to wait a while for this update, I was very busy! But, here you go, I hope you enjoy this one too ^^  
> And again, thanks for reading! (:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now Jinyoung is the awkward and silly turtle as he finally realizes his true feelings for Jaebum c;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have noticed how the chapter number is no longer 10 but a "?" that's because I changed the story line from what I had originally planned it to be since I wanted less angst in the story and now I'm not sure how many chapters I'll actually be posting, sorry and hope you understand! ;3

While they were walking up the stairs to Jaebum’s apartment they talked about what they should do, they came to the conclusion that they’ll just eat the snacks they bought while talking and watching a movie like they planned to do in the first place. Jinyoung kept a smile on his face the whole time, mostly to hide the nervousness. He kept stealing glances at Jaebum, he didn’t seem nervous at all, or at least he also didn’t want to show it, the one thing Jinyoung missed was Jaebum slipping on the stairs three times or; at least he pretended not to see and if he did he didn’t connect it with the boy feeling nervous too. 

When they walked in, Jaebum said a low “welcome” and Jinyoung replied with “sorry for the intrusion”. Jaebum then made his way to the living room while waving his hand to Jinyoung so he’d know he’s supposed to follow him there. Jinyoung slowly took his shoes off while trying to calm his breathing and slow down his heartbeat. When he got to the living room it was empty but he heard sounds coming from the kitchen, Jaebum’s probably making tea he thought. And, he was right, Jaebum walked into the living room a minute later with tea and their snacks already opened and placed in the bowls, the ice creams safe in the fridge so they wouldn’t melt. 

“What movie do you want to watch? Saw any good ones or heard of any good ones recently?” the boy asked, but Jinyoung just shook his head, he didn’t spend much time watching movies and he didn’t talk to many people other than Mark and Jackson; and they knew he didn’t like movies so they never suggested any. “Me neither, well let’s just shuffle the television channels then” Jaebum said before sitting next to Jinyoung. He sat a fair distance away and Jinyoung couldn’t help the disappointment creeping in his stomach, he quickly shook it away though; confused why it even appeared. 

They kept changing the channels since neither of them liked what they saw, so after 20 minutes of browsing they gave up and decided to just talk. But, it was even harder to find what to talk about, Jaebum tried to start a few conversations but Jinyoung could never reply with something that could keep them going, he felt too nervous to even look Jaebum in the eyes and he still didn’t understand why he wanted to be closer to him. “Uh, can I use your bathroom?” was all he could ask after the 5th failed attempt of a conversation. “Of course, it’s the last door on the right”. Jinyoung quickly got up and left the room.

When he found himself in the bathroom he stood in front of the sink and splashed his face with some cold water to calm down.  
~Why are you so nervous? He’s just a friend; you’ve been over at Mark and Jackson’s places a million times, what’s the big deal? And what’s with those weird thoughts? “I want him to sit closer to me” ; ”Why hasn’t he looked at me a single time?” ; “I wonder if he’s tired of me yet?”. What the hell? Get it together! You need to actually talk to him or he’ll regret even inviting you over Jinyoung! 

After his small monologue was finished he went back to the living room. However, he did end up sitting closer to Jaebum this time; he thought he’d feel more comfortable if the distance between them was smaller. However, he sat too close, their knees kept brushing so all he could concentrate on was the small warmth he felt every time his knee touched Jaebum’s. After staring at the places they were touching at for a moment too long Jaebum voiced out “Um, are you okay?” with a worried look on his face. And Jinyoung then realized he’s just ignored Jaebum for fifteen minutes straight just because he was too focused on that weirdly pleasing warmth. “Ah! Um, yes! I’m, I’m fine! Sorry, what did you just say?” he said with the fakest chuckle he could’ve managed, he wasn’t fine he felt extremely weird for a while now and he doesn’t understand why. 

So, the next fifteen minutes were spent with Jaebum talking about his classes and Youngjae - insisting Jinyoung has to meet him too and that they’d most definitely get along, and then another weird thing happened, Jinyoung suddenly felt irritated. Why was Jaebum talking about this Youngjae so much? Did he like him better than Jinyoung? Then he felt worried at this thought, he didn’t want to stop talking with Jaebum just because he wasn’t good enough. Anger and worry got the better of him so he ended up shouting “Ah, enough!” Jaebum did indeed stop talking and was now staring at Jinyoung in bewilderment. “Are, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting a bit weird…” and Jinyoung felt as if he’d just been punched in the gut. _Now you’ve done it_ he thought to himself before voicing out “I need to go to the bathroom again, excuse me” which sounded much more hostile then he had intended. 

In the bathroom, Jinyoung splashed his face with cold water again and felt déjà vu creeping up. He just stared at his reflection in the mirror with his mind racing. He couldn’t get his thoughts in order, he couldn’t control his line of thought and that’s the very first time he’s experienced this. After a while, when he calmed down, he began to whisper to himself hoping him saying the words out loud would help this time since only thinking obviously wasn’t working. 

_So, I just shouted at him even though it’s his house, then I proceeded to be rude and just ran away to the bathroom. How am I supposed to go back and look him in the face after that? Agh, why did I even feel irritated when he talked about another friend? It’s obvious he’ll have more friends, I also have Mark and Jackson, and I’m close to them too, and he’s close to Youngjae obviously. **But, I can’t help but want to be closer to him.** So he spends a lot of time with Youngjae too, **I want to spend more time with him** , they hang out a lot. But, he’s just a fri-_. 

He felt a lump in his throat when he tried finishing that sentence. So he tried to say it again, but he failed at it again, and again. Then his eyes widened and he remembered what Mark and Jackson had said in the coffee shop **he doesn’t know yet**. And then suddenly, everything fell into place.  
The reason why he felt so nervous before going out, why he felt like he needed to impress Jaebum, why he felt nervous coming over, the warmth he felt while Jaebum was holding his wrist, while they were holding hands even the warmth from their knees brushing. The anger, insecurity and worry he felt when Jaebum talked about Youngjae.  
**I.. I like him?** as he said that his face became beet red and he remembered all they did together, and all the little things Jinyoung noticed about Jaebum. His eye smile, the way he would always play with the hem of his hoodie when he was nervous, the different ways he laughs, the shape of his lips when he talks, the weird way he holds his cup and the little glimpse of happiness in his eyes when he saw a cat on the road. And then, Jinyoung realized he never noticed such things about other people, he never bothered nor cared to notice. Then, it suddenly got even harder to go back to the living room with this realization. After he was shut in the bathroom for twenty minutes Jaebum got worried and came to check up on him, when Jinyoung heard a knock on the door he jumped in surprise. “Hey, um, you okay?” and then Jinyoung also realized how much he loved hearing Jaebum’s voice, but that was beyond the point right now.  
What should I do, what should I do, kept spinning around in his head before he shouted “Yes, I’m fine!” as he slung the door open with a wide smile. He took the opportunity since Jaebum came to look for him, it spares him the awkwardness of going back to the living room. “Sorry, I was just kind of nervous or something; I didn’t mean what I said… A-anyway, it’s late I should get going!”  
“Ah, wait I’ll walk you, I promised.”  
“Ehhhhh? No, its fine, really! I’ll be fine no need to walk me back!”  
“But the last trains already left...”  
“I’ll walk, its ok.”  
“Alone?”  
“Yeah.”  
Jaebum didn’t reply. He just starred at Jinyoung. “Are you sure you’re fine? You really are acting weird, tell me, what’s up?” he said as he squinted at Jinyoung. Jinyoung felt a shiver in his lower back and tried to rush past the question, the whole situation and out of Jaebum's house. However, Jaebum had a different plan. So, when Jinyoung dashed towards the door so did Jaebum, locking it, taking the key and saying “I’m not letting you go until you tell me” with a devilish smirk. Jinyoung then ran towards the bathroom in hopes he could hide there until he thought about an appropriate lie but of course Jaebum didn’t let him do that either. So the event that followed was Jaebum grabbing Jinyoung, lifting him and then carrying him to the living room where he placed him on the couch. 

“Feel free to tell me any time because I’m really not letting you go until you do.”  
“Then I’ll just stay here” Jinyoung replied with his head down. Jaebum sat next to him not bothering to make a distance between them this time. “I’m fine with you staying here. I have an extra room” was all Jaebum said. Then they sat in complete silence for fifteen minutes, Jinyoung kept his head down and Jaebum kept his gaze fixated on Jinyoung.  
“It’s already midnight, should we go to bed?” Jaebum asked in hopes he would actually hear Jinyoung reply something, but the boy didn’t even move; he felt too awkward to. Jaebum lifted him again and carried him to the room placing him on the bed “You can sleep here, feel free to go wash up if you want, I’ll leave you a change of clothes, goodnight”  
“Why won’t you let me go home?” Jinyoung managed to ask before Jaebum left the room, but when he heard Jaebum’s reply he wished he didn’t even ask “Because I’m afraid I’ll never get to see you again if I do, I have a feeling I did something really wrong, I mean you won’t even look at me so I want to know...” then he turned around and gave him the saddest smile Jinyoung had ever seen before exiting the room. 

Needless to say Jinyoung got no sleep; he spent the whole night thinking about that fake smile and the hurt tone Jaebum gave his reply in. And the best lie he could think of was “I was mad that my clothes got dirty” which he didn’t want to use because it would actually seem as if he was mad at Jaebum and that it was his fault which he didn’t want. So, he wanted to pretend nothing happened. He got up earlier and made breakfast for both of them. But, as soon as Jaebum woke up the first thing he asked was “Are you okay?” and Jinyoung just nodded. “Will you tell me what the problem was last night?”  
“There was no problem” Jinyoung said in a cheery voice.  
“Jinyoung..”  
“Here, your pancakes.”  
Jaebum decided not to poke into it until they were done eating; naturally the whole meal was spent in silence while Jinyoung was thinking how to avoid the whole matter and Jaebum was thinking about how to dig the truth out. 

So, when they finished eating it was basically a race, who’s going to make their point first?  
“I really need to go home now, I need to study for tomorrow, so..”  
“I told you already I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong”  
“You know you basically kidnapped me right?”  
“I’m fine with that if you want to look at it that way, however you came here without me forcing you”  
“But you won’t let me go”  
“Because if I do you’ll just avoid me for who knows how long, right?”  
“That’s not true...”  
“Yes it is; you basically tried running away yesterday, didn’t you?”

Jinyoung fell silent for a few moments since Jaebum was right and he didn’t know what to reply.  
“Just tell me what the problem is and I’ll try fixing it, ok? I’m sorry if I did something stupid”  
“You didn’t do anything wrong!”  
“Then why have you been acting so weird?”  
“Ahhh, you’re so annoying, shut up!” and the second he said it he regretted it and covered his mouth. Jaebum looked honestly hurt by this and then both of them fell silent, but Jaebum broke the silence with “And then you try to act as if nothing’s wrong” he then left the kitchen and all Jinyoung heard was a door slamming. Jinyoung sat down and rested his head on the table. He continued to mumble swears to himself for thirty minutes before he decided it’s time to go talk to Jaebum, he didn’t want to make him feel any worse. When he knocked on the door Jaebum didn’t reply.  
“Um, I’m coming in.”  
“Are you here for the key?”  
“Um, no, I-“  
“Here. You can go, put the key in the bowl next to the door when you unlock it” he said as he handed Jinyoung the key before going to lay on his bed and turn his back to Jinyoung.  
“That’s not what I-“  
“There’s no use in keeping you here since you so obviously don’t want to be near me, so you’re free to go, and don’t worry I won’t be bothering you anymore either”  
Jinyoung felt a strong pain in his chest and he couldn’t help the tears falling from his eyes. “Jaebum you idiot!” he screamed out while wiping his eyes. Jaebum jumped out of bed upon hearing Jinyoung’s shaky voice and ran to him. “W-what did I do now? Why are you crying? Didn’t you want to go?”  
Jinyoung tried replying but he ended up sobbing instead, however when he saw how panicked Jaebum looked he calmed down enough to talk “I, I didn’t want that! I came here to talk to you, but you just wanted to stop talking to me” and then he started sobbing again when he thought about never seeing Jaebum again. Jaebum got himself together and pulled Jinyoung into a hug, he stroked his back and grabbed his hand. They stayed in this position longer than normal friends would have.  
“Did you calm down a bit Jinyoung?”  
Jinyoung just nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that I’ll never talk to you again, I was just upset, I really didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m really sorry” then Jaebum pulled out of the hug and brushed off the remaining tears on Jinyoungs face. He couldn’t help but think how beautiful Jinyoung looked even in this state but then he shook the thought since it was highly inappropriate at the moment. “What did you want to talk about?”  
“It doesn’t matter” Jinyoung replied with his voice still shaky.  
“Ah, to hell with it” Jaebum said with his voice harsher than usual. He then lifted Jinyoung’s face and said while looking him straight in the eyes “Listen. I like you. I’ve liked you for a while now. Do you know how hard it is to even get your attention, geez? And now that I finally had some time alone with you I fuck it up this much, first I make you fall and get your clothes dirty, then I make you uncomfortable, then angry, and then I even made you cry, I’m really the worst. I really, really, don’t deserve someone like you. You’re so kind, and nice, not to mention smart and fun to be around. But, I like you. I really, really, really do Jinyoung. That’s why I didn’t want to never talk to you again, but you were so mad it looked like you were really fed up with me so... so I didn’t want to make you feel bad and decided to just let you go, but then that ended up making you cry… I really don’t understand what’s happening but I had to tell you. I like you. I wanted to be cool about it and make a big confession after a while, after you started to like me or got to know me better since all I’ve shown you so far were uncool sides of me… but, I guess it’s better this way-“ he stopped to get his voice in rhythm again and Jinyoung noticed he’s playing with the hem of his shirt “-of course you don’t need to reply, you can just go, I guess it’s kind of weird to get confessed by someone you think of as a friend, huh?” he scratched the back of his head and laughed softly; he then turned around and said “You can go now if you like”, but then he felt Jinyoungs warmth on his back. He quickly turned around and saw the boy was crying again. “W-what now?” but Jinyoung just placed a kiss on his lips and smiled. 

“Me too, I like you too! I didn’t know how to tell you that’s why I acted so weird, and I got angry and jealous of your friend… I wanted to tell you when I came into the room but then you suddenly said you want me to go and that we’ll never talk again I got so sad… But, I’m really happy now!” He said as he pulled Jaebum into another hug.

 

_Jaebum pulled away to look at Jinyoung, confused if this was really happening, but when Jinyoung shot him his radiant smile Jaebum felt at ease and knew it wasn’t a fiction of his imagination. He then kissed Jinyoung again, and then one more time, and then he ended up losing count._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading (:  
> A feedback is always welcome! :3


	6. Chapter 6

After a million kisses were exchanged Jaebum hugged Jinyoung once more. He felt awkward and didn't really know what to do next. What does one normally do after such an awkward love confession anyway? He felt a sudden blush on his cheeks and warmth in his stomach. His thoughts were all over the place, however, they came into order the second he heard Jinyoung say his name. He pulled out of the hug to look at his loved one. He was met by the other boys eye smile and wet cheeks from his earlier crying. 

"What now?" was what Jinyoung asked next while lowering his gaze, the weirdness of the question striking him the second it was out of his mouth and in the open.  
"Uh, I'm not really sure myself..." after a small pause Jaebum added "But, our feelings are mutual, that's enough for now, I guess" he shot his _boyfriend_ a reassuring smile, and then the thought hit him, Jinyoung was his boyfriend now, they were officially dating and he didn't even bother hiding the fact that he was overwhelmed with happiness.  
"I guess you're right.." was all Jinyoung replied.  
"Anyway, would you like to officially go on a date with me?" was Jaebums next question. Their previous "date" couldn't exactly be counted as one since Jinyoung might not have thought about it as in fact, a date.  
"Of course!" was Jinyoungs reply and he too didn't bother to hide the fact that he was overjoyed with the question. 

~

So, the two of them decided to meet again at 7 pm in front of the station where they had met the evening before. Jaebum was half an hour early since he was too excited to wait, and he felt relieved when Jinyoung had arrived only ten minutes after him, it seems both of them were looking forward to it. 

They went to see a horror movie, Jaebum choose one on purpose since he never really saw Jinyoung reading scary books, so he wanted it to be the cliche date, you know get your significant other scared so they'd cling onto you, something like that; however Jinyoung was not the least bit scared. Nonetheless when he saw Jaebums disappointed face he couldn't help but play along. So the other half of the movie looked exactly the way Jaebum imagined it, in all it's cliche glory. 

Jaebum then suggested going to eat something sweet. He ended up ordering a couple ice cream which got them a weird glance from the waitress but neither of them paid her any notice. They were in their own little bubble and couldn't care less about what other people thought about them. They ended up feeding each other with the ice cream more than eating it themselves, then they proceeded to put it on each others noses and cheeks to steal a small kiss. Jinyoungs face turned beet red when Jaebum laced the ice cream on his lips and proceeded to kiss him not paying any notice to their surroundings. When they were finished with playing around they left the shop and Jaebum took hold of Jinyoungs hand while placing a kiss on it. 

"Where to now? Any place you'd like to go?"  
"Uh, can we go to the book store? There's a new book I wanted to buy... we don't have to if you don't want to though, I guess it's a bit weird going there while on a date, huh?"  
"Of course not, let's go"  
Jaebum pulled Jinyoung while gripping his hand tighter; he didn't let go even when they got to the store. Jinyoung quickly found not one book, but three books he wanted to buy; however Jaebum ended up buying all of them despite Jinyoungs protest.

"It's late already. Do you want to come over or would you rather I walked you home tonight?"  
"I-I'd like to be with you a bit longer... if that's okay"  
"That makes me extremely happy, of course it's okay, let's go then"

~

Jinyoung wasn't sure if he was allowed to feel as happy as he did, as happy as Jaebum made him feel. The whole night was wonderful and he gets to enjoy it even longer. Not only that but Jaebum respected his wishes not finding them weird, not laughing or picking at him. He was so extremely happy and content. He felt safe and protected. 

When they got to Jaebums place they sat in the living room, a nostalgic feeling creeping up since they were here the night prior. However, something was different. The air was now filled with their laughter and their voices, no awkward or nervous silence was to be found; what stayed the same though was the warmth the two boys felt in their stomachs, the happiness they felt whenever they heard the other speak. 

Jinyoung told Jaebum all about himself, what his likes and dislikes are, who his friends are, about his family, and lastly about the books he loves to read but also the hardships his love towards them brought. Jaebum listened to every word Jinyoung was saying, then he hugged him tight while whispering _I like when you read to me, so do it lots and lots from now on_. 

Jaebum then proceeded to tell Jinyoung about himself. He started off the same way Jinyoung had. His likes, dislikes, friends, family. He then talked about what he wants to do in the future, he talked about music and the things he went through because of it. And Jinyoung listened and then he too pulled Jaebum into a hug while saying loudly so the other would understand _I love your singing, so don't hold back, okay?_

They ended up staying up unreasonably late. Jaebum continued to sing to Jinyoung, and Jinyoung continued to read to Jaebum. They were both doing what they loved, but no one else supported. They were doing what they loved but this time with the support and encouragement of someone; someone they cared so very deeply about. 

~

When Jinyoung woke up the next morning, he was in bed wrapped tightly in his boyfriends arms. He placed a kiss on Jaebums lips and whispered "Good morning". Jaebum tightened the hug while returning the kiss and then saying "Good morning to you too" with the happiest smile Jinyoung has seen in a while.  
And then, Jinyoung had a thought; a rather happy one. _He didn't just save me... **We saved each other**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! ^^


	7. Extra Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just in case some of you were wondering what happened to the turtles after a few years, a small extra chapter ;3
> 
> I guess they'll forever stay awkward turtles in my mind ^^

After they finished college, the two boys decided to start living together. Jinyoung has since published a few very successful books and Jaebum had written many songs; however all of them were sung by Youngjae. Despite all Jinyoungs efforts Jaebum still doesn't enjoy singing to anyone except for Jinyoung.  
Jinyoung is secretly happy to have Jaebums amazing voice all for himself though, but if Jaebum were to ever change his mind he would of course give him his support and encouragement. 

Their flat wasn't big or anything special, but it was home. It was nice to know they had someone to go to whenever they needed someone by their side; that much hasn't change since they first met. They go on dates every weekend, they've told their friends and family; even though they weren't so open to it at first they're slowly getting there. They went on many trips together, slept together many times, their life was full of nothing but happiness. Of course, they had quarrels; they however never lasted long, one of them would always rush to apologize. The insecurities are long gone, the jealousy is still present in some normal senses.

What not only remains but keeps growing stronger is the affection they have for each other, their bond and above all else the understanding they show towards one another. 

~

One winter night, Jinyoung was awoken by Jaebum playing with his fingers. He looked at him with confusion until he realized what he had placed. On his right hand there was a gold ring. Jaebum smiled nervously before saying "I.. I think it looks nice, do you like it?" Jinyoung didn't reply, still half-asleep. "Um, I'm trying to ask if you'd like to marry me?" Jinyoungs eyes widened, then they teared up; he managed to say yes before placing a million kisses on Jaebums lips. After a teary goodnight and many kisses, _they went back to sleep while their ring fingers were inter wined, the matching pair shinning ever so brightly in the dead of the night._

-Extra-  
**Jaebums thoughts about the ring that day**

How should I give it to him? I don't want to weird him out, maybe he still thinks it's too soon. But, I want to make him mine completely. That's kind of childish of me, that part hasn't changed since college. Should I take him on a trip? It would be weird if he rejected me there though... Will he reject me? Now that's stuck-up thinking Jaebum. We've been together for six years though, still that doesn't mean he wants to spend his whole life with me. Should I just place it in the kitchen and then when he asks about it I lay dumb? He could get the wrong idea, no, definitely not that... Ahh, this was harder than picking the rings, and that took hours I was almost kicked out of the shop...

After thinking about it for a week, he decided it's best to put the ring on Jinyoungs hand and then play dead hoping for the worst; however he forgot that Jinyoung is a light sleeper. It turned out alright, didn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that followed this fan-fiction from chapter one, and of course to everyone that started reading later, it means a lot to have had such support on this work! I hope you enjoyed, and if you did I'm very glad. :)


End file.
